Well.. I’m in the computer resource center… post meeting.. a meeting that’s part of a program to help people with mental illness issues get work.. and be successful in the work we get…..
I’m using my time here to do stuff that I might more easily get distracted from if I where at home with my computer… SOO… I’m focusing on facebook, twitter, this blog, and emails… (Yes, I know most people try and push these things away to focus on whatever they want to focus on)…. but for me… I’m backwards.
I think the problem is that social phobia is a HUGE obstacle for me in social media..
The story goes that the internet provides a “de anxietized space”… and isn’t that great for.. folks with social anxiety, the shy, introverts of world, and blah blah blah… but I….. still struggle.. and in some ways I may even struggle more…
Part of it is I’ll read what I’ve written.. think it horrible.. and be embarrassed about it.. and there’s probably more then 20 rough drafts.. hanging out.. for every post I post.. just because of how difficult this barrier is for me.
SO.. my PR message of the day is
You should probably read the social cues and signals I give off differently then you would.. the “normal” person….
So, example… take “the shy person.” Basically the shy person is just shy.. it has nothing to do with you.. but very often shy people get read as snobs.. people think they’re better then everybody else.. they’re somehow aloof… etc.
Accept… none of this is normally true…..
Now.. there is a kind of.. spectrum.. that ranges from shy to social anxiety to social phobia… In guitar / music terms.. shy is someone in a rock band playing and acoustic guitar… social anxiety.. is playing an electric guitar… with a good amount of distortion… playing rock and roll. Social Phobia is…well…
Slayer
Or you know… perhaps….
GWAR?
So yeah… moral of the story is that it’s very hard for me to live inside of a whole heck of a lot of social norms… and.. I don’t want you to think I’m… I don’t know.. looking down my nose on you and that’s why I’m not interacting more… I am working on that… and that’s sorta the hope… you know?
Back to my social media initiative business thing thang
I think maybe my full time job.. should be social media.. that I should endeavor to keep at least, like, a 30 hour work week that is nothing other then social media…
I have a kind of social media friend who was a single mom.. and couldn’t really get out of the house too much… sorta like me and my poverty.. not being able to get my car on the road.. mixed maybe.. with my social phobia… and you know what she did? She went and took on Twitter when twitter was still a really new thing… and she became like.. the twitter queen you might say… one of the authors to Twitter for Dummies… and you know.. went on to be a kind of social rock star…
ALOT of people… have found them selves unemployed, made blogging there full time preoccupation… and have gotten jobs or careers out of it….
THE KEY.. for me.. getting work… is getting out there.. and this may be the only way I CAN get out there.. at least for the moment.. and so… I’m thinking about that.
The only trouble is.. one way or another… I kinda have to balance this sorta thing.. with actual art and design and what not.. creation.. I mean after all.. if that’s what I’m going to be hired for.. I need to be good at all these things and have groovy work samples to share…
SOOooo… I’m thinking that maybe the social should be the thing that drives it all.. that whatever art / design / whatever I do.. should maybe be in support of the social.
What do you think?
Bad Oedipus Music Journals 